Waking up

On a beautiful spring morning a few years ago our team was locked in a competitive ultimate frisbee match. With a tied score and only a few minutes left in the game we were playing harder and faster than we had in any other game during the tournament.

We got possession and started to drive down the field. The next throw was low and fast. Covering half the field. Ben, our team captain and fastest player, ran and dove to catch the disc. A photo from that moment, captured by the tournament photographer, shows him completely horizontal, about to complete an incredible catch.

An opposing player realized he misread the throw and didn’t get low enough to make a play on the frisbee. In a split second, unable to stop, he had to decide how to avoid a collision.

He chose to jump.

I’ll never forget the sound of his knee colliding with the side of Ben’s head.

Looking back

Imagine yourself three years ago. Where did you live? Who were you in a relationship with? How was that relationship? Where do you work? What are your dreams? What are your struggles?

Step into that time and become that person for a moment.

From that place, now look forward. What do you think of your life now?

One of three things will be true:

• Life is better now.
• Life is the same now.
• Life is worse now.

Which is true for you?

Hold that thought. Hold that emotion.

Waking up

As we all converged on Ben I had no idea what to think. He didn’t move. After about 30 seconds he began to wake up. After a couple minutes he could get up on his own power. Immediately he wanted to know if we could continue the game. We had a tournament to win after all.

We escorted him to the side while the tournament organizers called the game as a tie since we were now out of time before the next round of games needed to start. It was still early and they’d figure out a way to make the brackets work.

Now it was our turn to make a decision: will Ben be fine or should he see a doctor?

Remembering the sound of the collision I made the call that we’d take him in. In the car on the way to the doctor Ben said:

“Whoah. I’m just now coming to… so what happened?”

Well, we were playing ultimate frisbee and you got hit in the head while diving for the frisbee. We just want to get you checked out by a…

I was mid-explanation when the scariest thing happened.

“Whoah. I’m just now coming to… so what happened?”

Uh, what?

Everyone in the car traded freaked out looks. He said the same thing, in exactly the same way. With no memory of the conversation we just had or how he got in the car.

“Whoah. I’m just now coming to… so what happened?”

“Whoah. I’m just now coming to… “

“Whoah. I’m just now…”

Whoah.

Every 20-30 seconds each sentence started exactly the same way. In order to not freak him out we engaged in the conversation. Telling the same story on repeat.

At the front desk he knew all his information and was able to answer all the medical questions. At least the ones we could fit into the (now slightly longer) loop.

Which was true for you?

Is life better, worse, or the same?

When I go back three years and look forward life is better. I live in a new house (on the farm that Hilary always dreamed of having), the company I poured my heart and soul into is growing in a remarkable way, and emotionally I am in a much better place thanks to deliberate work and counseling.

That leads to a feeling of gratitude for everything that has happened.

While that’s true for me, it’s important to leave space for those who may have a different experience. Life could be worse now than a few years ago. The loss of a loved one, a failed business, financial hardship, depression, or a host of other factors may mean that you wish things could get back to how they were before. My wish for you is that you are able to find hope that since it was once better, with deliberate work, life can return to that point.

The final option is that everything might feel the same. Humans are designed to change and grow. Stagnation can feel depressing or even crippling. If that’s you, find one small thing to change. That could be the gym once a week, reading a new book, or learning a new skill. Don’t try to change everything at once. Start small, stay consistent, and see where it takes you.

Whether reflection sparks gratitude, hope, or motivation, it’s always helpful to look back on your journey.

Longer loops

With each loop Ben’s short-term memory extended. An hour after the concussion we could have a conversation for a couple minutes before he forgot it all and started over. More time meant more questions.

• “Where do I work?”
• “Where do I live?”
• “What do I drive?”

He knew the basics about his life, but nothing recent. As we answered his questions he got really excited:

“I teach at that school? I’ve always wanted to work there!”

“I drive a convertible? I bet that’s fun!”

Once I got over the craziness of not remembering details about your own life, I couldn’t help but laugh. If that happened to me what would my reaction be?

“ConvertKit is doing that well?”

“This is the incredible team I get to work with?”

I can’t help but feel gratitude.

A full recovery

Throughout the day Ben was able to remember more and more. After a CT scan and more monitoring at the hospital he ended up making a full recovery. Though it was a few weeks before he went back to work, he did regain all of his memory, except for up until a few minutes before the frisbee tournament started.

What started as a frightening accident turned into an opportunity to look in from the outside—without the context and small steps of time marching forward—to gain a completely fresh perspective.

For me that perspective points to a place of gratitude.

 

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